#what if he did that because he knew that he wouldnt be able to save her if she touched the watet

[youareunbearable]

I always see these posts about Maedhros and Elwing, like yes both leap to their deaths clutching a Silmaril and I adore the foil allegories, but what of Maglor??

My tiktok feed has been playing that one fan Odysseus song, the "get in the water, or ill raise the tides so high all of Ithaca will die" song, and I cant help but just picture Maglor, at the ends of his rope, covered in Ambarussa's blood, the youngest son of Feanor again after spending an untold amount of time being the second oldest, just going still and deadly at Elwing

Hes no Luthien, no half Maia that can pluck at the threads of reality like one can a harp, but he is the best Singer of the Noldor, and depending on who you ask, of all of the First Born. One of the only Sons of Feanor with an affinity for water while the rest burn, but that doesn't mean he can't become a rolling boil.

Once the final breath of Ambarussa escapes their lungs, oh the Scream Maglor will have let go. Just as a drowning person will grasp at anything to keep them afloat, even to the point where they may drown their rescuer just to keep their head above the waves, Maglor’s scream PULLS

All the water surrounding this costal city would Lurch, would rush and flood and crash upon the city walls. The streets, already run red with blood, would become knee deep blood pools. These red rivers would part before him and his echoing dirge, his siren wailing, the bloody waves would lap at his feet with every step he would take up Elwing's tower.

He would corner her, eyes blazing with the same light that she clutches desperately to her chest, to her heart, and Maglor wouldn't care about the Jewel, he's already lost so much to it that if he held it himself he would just toss it into the waves anyways, let it sink to the black depths where it belongs.

No, Maglor would pin her on the balcony, block her exits so all she can see is the blood stained water seeping around his feet, inching towards her, and the furious roar and crash of the raging ocean behind. He would hum, a disarming little song, and the waves seem to surge upwards, reaching towards the tower balcony on beat. The spray of the waves would splatter across her back, would mist Maglor’s face, the salt of the ocean mixing with the salt of his tear stained face. He would look at her, dripping in water and blood, both of his brothers and his enemies, and he would sing one little line, a command more like.

"Get in the water"

[vanderdyks]

I literally dont know how to continue explaining to people that part of the reason Goku decided to stay dead was because Gohan hated fighting.

He didnt know this until cell. He literally had no idea. Gohan NEVER gave any indication whatsoever. Couple that with the fact Bulma pointed out most of people threatening the Earth during that point in time were all people wanting Goku. The saiyans. Frieza. The androids. Doctor Gero. Cell.

All because of Goku. Its not his fault but his very existence consistently put the Earth in danger. He truly believed Earth would be safer without him and therefore, gohan wouldnt be consistently placed into battle.

Because Goku didnt know gohan hated fighting. But once he knew came the very interwoven nature of these threats he brought making his own son fight because gohan felt he HAD to. Not because he wanted to. For goku, protecting the earth always aligned with his own love for fighting. But gohan fought out of necessity, out of the very idea that they couldnt afford to do it without him. He has this power he didnt ask for so he must use it right? Because it would be selfish if he didnt.

But goku... goku thought gohan was like him. Gohan WANTED to return to help fight vegeta. He WANTED to go to namek. He WANTED to stay and fight after piccolo almost died to frieza. Goku didnt see gohan train that first year. Didnt witness what it took to make gohan a fighter. All he saw was his son who now was strong and wanted to join the fight like his dad. And he knows gohan is more powerful than them, knows he can stop cell, FELT IT. Gohan has to defeat cell because no one else can. So he thinks if gohan gets angry enough fighting cell, itll be the answer. Because thats how its always been for goku. And in thirty seconds piccolo makes him realize he's wrong. He doesnt argue back, he listens and concedes and realizes that piccolo is right. And suddenly goku wants to abandon his plan and stop the fight. He made a mistake. He intends to get gohan out. And in the end, he still ended up being right, but it doesnt change what goku now knows. Gohan isnt like him and he doesnt enjoy fighting.

Goku would have NEVER made gohan fight if he thought he didnt want to. You know this whenever adult gohan gets involved in a fight and goku apologizes that he had to. Or when someone suggests gohan for a battle and goku is like nah he's "out of practice," even when they have time FOR PRACTICE. He never wants to force gohan into a situation like cell again. Because cell was a mistake and goku has learned from it. So he never asks Gohan to fight anymore. If Gohan wants in then of course he's in. But he wants his son to be able to choose that. He wants gohan to be HAPPY and if thats not fighting then thats perfectly alright with goku.

So it wasnt just about keeping the earth safe. Or his friends. It was knowing that in the safety of gokus absence, gohan wouldnt have to fight either. There would be less threats, less chances of his son being forced into battle. And sure he also trusted that gohan and the others could keep the earth safe if they had to, but he was banking on the threat level significantly decreasing instead.

And decrease it did. They had seven whole years of peace. Not a single threat. Meanwhile from the moment Raditz shows up to gokus death to cell, it all takes place within the span of FIVE YEARS. The longest they went without a threat was the three year gap spent training for the androids. And they spent every waking moment knowing they were coming.

And then if you look at trunks future... majority of the human population being wiped out by the androids. Majority of gokus friends. His son. All dead. Because of him. Because he defeated the red ribbon army when he was a child. And that very easily could have been their future as well. So Goku does his job in preventing that. He saves all of them. And if hes the only one who ends up dead, well... it doesnt matter. Because they aren't. And he intends to keep it that way. So he stays in otherworld, to keep them safe and to give his son a future that he can choose. If Gohan has to fight, then he can. But at least his father wouldnt be the one bringing the threats to his door.

[psychabolition]

You talk about getting rid of the psychiatric system. But what do you propose should be done instead? /gen

I'm going to tell you a story . I once knew someone called Tim. When I met him he had already spent most of his life in drug addiction treatment centres, psych wards and prisons until he later ended up in a forensic psych ward. After he did LSD he 'never came down from his bad trip' and got diagnosed w schizophrenia. This diagnosis +the addict - diagnosis justified so many fucking human rights violations - it got him locked up, drugged up, strip searched, his privacy violated on a daily basis, isolated away from society and everyone he knew because apparently he needed to be 'saved from this illness in his brain that makes him do/think/feel' things he otherwise wouldnt and because he needed to be 'punished' into being a 'functioning', 'productive' (read: profit-generating) member of 'society' (read: hegemonic cultural norms & forms.) This is what psychiatry does - it doesnt help, it locks us up and tortures us. I dont need to be able to name alternatives to this lol . This is the worst possible way of treating anyone ever. It would help immensely to literally just STOP doing this. Even 'sane' people would go insane in places like these.

So the alternative to acting like an absolute asshole towards people who struggle severely and who dont have a place in society would be to 1)not isolate them away from society and 2)not torture them 🙏 . It would be to get rid off the psychologists' individual and the psychiatric systems' general saviour complex that only results in abusing people bc they act like the people who are labelled as mentally ill are (=their minds/brains) responsible for at fault for their own struggles. Instead we could show solidarity with each other and try to built a world where everyone has a place in and is valued as a person and where the suffering/madness of an individual is not seen as an incentive to literally abuse and socially ostracize them.

And @ everyone dont come at me w 'not everyone has these experiences w psychiatry' - any time you talk about systemic criticism you have to look at the most marginalized experiences. When talking about police defunding/prison abolition we also talk about police brutality that black disabled poor people face . And yes not everyone has bad experiences w every single cop , still ACAB . ALSO dont come at me with 'I know there ar GOOD psychologists who Actually want to help' ,1) fuck their savior complex 2)what individuals motives are for joining this system of oppression isnt necessarily the purpose of a system. The purpose of a system is what it does. The police isnt there to protect us, psychiatry isnt there to help us. We only have each other.

So, what you can do right now to get rid off the psychiatric system in your community? How can we stop relying on this authoritarian system that abuses and incarcerates so many of us ??

I think its important to educate each other on our rights. Because then we have the knowledge on what not to say in a therapy session so we dont get incarcerated or what to do when we are questioned by cops/psychs to see if we are 'at risk' or what to do when we or friends of us are already incarcerated so they can get out of there as fast as possible. Also educating your friends/family on psychiatric propaganda helps - a common myth is that if you dont 'look for signs' and call the cops to institutionalize a friend they might kill themselves. All while institutionalization/incarceration increases the risk of suicide extremely. This is important to know so no one in our communities calls the cops on us when we're doing really bad. Also educating each other on the biomedical model so everyone understands that we dont have an illness that we need to be 'saved from' (depression for example) or 'punished for' (aspd, drug addiction) and that we (=our minds/brains) arent to blame for our struggles Etc.

If you know that youre sometimes in extreme mental distress/pain you could also make a crisis plan with friends so you dont need to rely on the psych system - like for example the plan could be that a friend calls in sick for work/university and then stays at your place for 3-4days and is there for you/drinks tea w you, goes for a walk together w you, smokes a joint with you together until you feel better and arent acutely suicidal anymore. (Its also best to include several people in this plan bc it can get really overwhelming for 1 person). You can als include things in the plan like asking your friends to take away all knives in your apartment if you want to. Or if its a more permanent 'crisis' then a plan on how to move together with friends to get away from your nuclear family/abusive partner (just as an example).

Access to medication, knowledge on how to get off of them if you dont want to take them anymore and freedom and proper education in your decision on taking, weaning off or on staying on medication is not given in the psych system. So how do we change that? A common reason for 'crisis' is trying to wean off of psychiatric drugs (a lot of people get suicidal or psychotic bc of the withdrawal for example - depends on the meds, dosis and since how long youve been taking them though). You could plan when to do this together w friends. Theres anti psych guidelines on how to do this safely - a lot of psychiatrists tell you that you need to stay on meds no matter if you want to or not and they often dont know how to wean off of them or think youre 'at risk' and incarcerate you if you mention that you want to stop taking your meds -this highly depends on how stigmatizing your diagnosis is (=schizophrenia/bipolar are good examples for highly stigmatized ones) or if youre sb who get racialized for example (bc then psychs immediatly perceive you as more of 'a risk'). You could make a plan for example where you ask your friends to stay w you through this by living at your apartment w you for a few days, cooking meals for you and keeping your apartment clean. And then another friend of you could come by each day after work (for example) and also be there since its probably a lot for one person. Also LYING to psychiatrists is always a good idea. For example when youre trans and want to access gender affirming care its important not to mention any diagnoses in general but especially diagnoses like autism, schizophrenia, psychosis or PDs and then literally lie about yourself if necessary. You always know who you are and what you need best. Also dont blindly trust your psych on what medications go well together - look it up yourself !!! Theres a 'drug interaction checker' online where you can see if it might be dangerous to take certain meds at the same time. Also READ on what side effects are possible - make a diary for when you start your medication on how youre feeling/doing . Some changes are awful but still hard to notice bc youre thinking that it could also be a 'normal' worsening of your mental state that you think you might also have without meds. Also depending on what physical conditions you have/had you cant take some medications without it being dangerous - READ the whole instruction paper thing that always comes with your meds and/or google it !!

Also literally just sharing/collecting tips on how to cope w different struggles + harm reduction guides (suicidality, drug addiction, ...) is very helpful. There is a lot of community sourced material already out there.

I understand that the reason most people are severely struggling is because they dont have a community (=like when you only have 1 partner or 1 friend ,because youre (still) legal property of your parents, because youre stuck in a nuclear family,...) and not only because psychiatry divides our communities by blaming us for our struggles and isolating and stigmatizing us. Building community and relying on each other is the only way to get rid off the psychiatric system in the end. If we already had a real community that we could rely on, all the psych wards would be empty and therapists wouldnt exist. This is not the first step, its the solution.

Als there are already alternative institutions (that are already in practice) that are a replacement for psychiatry.

This is probably the answer that youre looking for 😂. I dont really care about these kind of anti psych concepts and practices since they seem out of my reach atm. Ik that theres an anti psych house in berlin whos guiding principles are 1)community care /peer support 2)full autonomy for everyone there and its specifically for people who are running away from psychiatric violence.

Other alternatives that I havent really looked into yet are : bethel house , peer respites, new models of therapy

[bridgyrose]

Ladybug week day 6: Childhood AU

Ruby quietly climbed out of her bedroom window, careful to make as little noise as she could as she dropped to the ground. She fussed with the pins that kept her ears down in her hair to make sure they were hidden before pulling the hood of her cloak over. Then, she checked the bag that hung on her shoulder to make sure her White Fang mask was with her and safe. Tonight was going to be her first dust raid and she wanted to make sure she had everything she needed for it. 

She took a deep breath, turned to look at the house one last time, and then started to make her way to take the last ferry of the night. If everything went well, she’d be back on the first ferry to Patch and be home just before her dad woke up. Though, if he found out she was out-

“So you did decide to come,” Blake said with a smile as she dropped out of a tree. “Adam was thinking you were gonna chicken out.” 

“I wasnt going to chicken out,” Ruby lied as she looked away. The thought of staying home did cross her mind more than once, though the idea of disappointing Blake seemed worse than disappointing her dad. “I-I just… needed to..  wait until I wasnt going to get caught sneaking out.” 

“You could always run away,” Adam said as he walked over, almost glaring at Ruby from under his mask. “Then we wont have to be late waiting for you.” 

“And now she’s here so we can go.” Blake sighed and started to make her way to the ferry. “And then we can fill her in with the plan.” 

“Fine. But if she slows us down, she’s out.” 

Ruby slowly followed behind Adam and Blake as she tried to listen to them. Most of the words almost seemed muffled to her as she lost focus on what was being said, only able to focus on Blake. She couldnt help but wonder what life would’ve been like if Blake hadnt saved her, given her a reason to join the White Fang. She was tired of being beat for being a faunus, angry that her dad made her hide her trait anytime she went out, always treated like she was destined for nothing more than a life of hard labor. And yet, when she was with Blake, everything felt like it was going to work out. That no matter what they did, it’ll all be worth it.

“Are you going to answer him?” Blake asked. 

Ruby nearly stopped in her tracks when she realized that Blake had gotten right next to her. “I-I didnt… what was the question?” 

“I asked if you’re sure you want to do this,” Adam repeated, annoyed. “Once you step onto the ferry, there’s no turning back.” 

Ruby nodded, her heart almost thumping in her chest when she saw Blake give her a smile. “Yes! I want to do this more than anything!” 

Adam smirked and motioned for Ruby and Blake to follow him. “Then dont slow us down.” 

Ruby stepped onto the ferry with Blake and Adam, straying towards the edge as she looked back towards her home. Her dad and Yang still hadnt noticed she’d left for the night, which meant she was almost in the clear. Once she reached Vale, as long as she got back before either of them woke up, then she wouldnt have to come up with some sort of excuse as to why she was out. 

“Everything okay?” Blake asked as she moved next to her. “You’ve been quiet ever since you boarded.” 

“Just trying to figure out what to tell Dad and Yang if they ask.” 

“You’re planning on going back to them?” 

“Of course. Why wouldnt I?” 

Blake gently pulled Ruby’s hood down and frowned. “Because they make you hide who you are. I thought you wanted to be yourself.” 

Ruby wanted to pull her hood back up, but she knew Blake was right. Of course she wanted to be more herself, seeing Blake keep her own ears out made her long to be able to do the same. She slowly pulled the pins that held her ears down to let them up. “Where else would I go?” 

“You can come home with us,” Blake suggested. “Its just a small camp right now-” 

“We cant afford to bring another kid along!” Adam snapped. “We’re running low on supplies as it is, another mouth to feed is only going to cause us problems.” 

“I-I’ve been training to be a huntress.” Ruby fidgeted with the pins she held as she tried to look more confident. “I dont have my own weapon yet, Dad wont let me have one for another year, but I can make myself useful!” 

Adam paused for a moment as if he was thinking about it. “If you survive the raid tonight, then we’ll take you back.” 

Ruby let out a silent breath as Adam turned and walked to the other side of the ferry. She wasnt sure why her heart felt like it was pounding in her chest or why her stomach suddenly felt like it was in knots about being herself. But if Blake was sure this was the best way, then she had to know what she was talking about. 

Blake gave Ruby a playful hit on her shoulder and smiled. “Stay close to me and I’ll make sure you’re safe.” 

[b4mb1isntr34l]

What about Stu/Sid headcanons? Anything at all.

Stu and Sid General Headcannons (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

Stu :

he seems like he would severly enjoy skipping. like you would catch this man skipping joyfully and whimsically too many times

probably ate crayons as a kid

argued that the different colours had different flavours

has the most devious sweet tooth ever, im talking would start eating pinches of sugar if he wanted something sweet bad enough

would start pulling faces at you behind your face for shits and giggles

putting up the finger the second you turned around if you pissed him off

lactose intolerant

doesnt admit hes lactose intolerant

would genuinely really enjoy bands/artists that billy would call "corny". Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, Brittany Spears, ect.

always keeps a lighter or mini matchbox on him

he doesnt smoke often, usually only a pull of someone else's if he's had a few drinks. he just likes having them on him

would put water in his hands, pretend to sneeze and flick the water on you.

sleeps with his mouth open

Tatum tells him his mouth stays shut while he sleeps because he doesnt want spiders in his mouth

"there's no spiders in here anyways,"

Tatum assured him, scratching his head as she did so.

"there might be - they're everywhere."

snores.

Sid :

sid is a huge sweetheart as we all know

would let anyone sleep over any time, or sleep over with someone if they needed

was an absolute master at jump rope when she was a kid. could do tricks, multiple jump ropes, probably could do it upside down

knew Stu when they were kids. Stu offered her his cherry flavoured crayon. was scared to eat it. she still has it lying around somewhere

can drive, but its scared to do so (probably cus she almost got murdered 😛)

really likes marshmallows and would eat them with anything that wouldnt be too gross.

a huge Alice In Chains fan

would be absolutely devious for the Sims 4. you would not be able to get her off that game

"no- dumbass," she grumbled while prsctically slamming her mouse into the desk, Tatum on her bed watching.

"its not supposed to- stupid fuckung game! i hate this!"

would square up with her computer if it lagged, glitched, didnt save ect.

would really love jelly/jello. cherry flavoured jelly packets can be always found in her cupboards.

Tatum and Billy's house's are like second homes for her and vise versa.

thank you for reading and for the request :D i hope this wasnt dog dookie and you enjoyed 🖤

[mysteriousbp]

Considering Clover actually knew the human children and was very close friends with them, why would they sacrifice themselves then, shouldnt they relationship with the other children have affected their decision? Wouldnt the most logical choice have been spare Ceroba and then go fight Asgore? Also isnt it a bit messed up that Tom and Clover were rooting against the others, even if they didnt know it was them?

Im sorry if i sound like im whining or complaining or saying "erm ackshually🤓" but i dont understand how Clovers relation with the other humans didnt affect their choice at the end of TP and took them in a different path, especially considering that they knew what would happen to the next human and the promise they did to Frisk

It doesnt actually bother me that much, but im curious, also no, i dont have a problem with Clovers sacrifice, i think its a cool scene but in this AU im not sure if it works that well

But it did.

What exactly could Clover do at that point? He knew the others were already dead. If he freed the souls they would have died for nothing. 

Here's the thing: why did I decide to just make Clover and Tom the only ones that sacrificed themselves in the AU? 

Because if you remember the Family Tree post. They were the ones that had a family before the orphanage. (Also Hope, but she was too young at the time.)

(Also I forgot Melody when I made this post. Good thing no one paid attention to the Family Tree post. I was able to fix it without anyone noticing it.)

Clover and Tom are supposed to be a type of opposite to Chara. They both had good lives before their parents deaths and having to live in the orphanage. But because of that, they know that life isn't black and white. It's grey. Chara just experiences the bad, while Clover and Tom experience both the good and the bad.

And when they sacrificed themselves, they knew that it was too late for the others. In their heads, the thought that they could kill Asgore and take the souls back was a possibility... But would it be fair for the monsters that they befriended along the way? Did monsters like QC, Martlet, Toriel, Starlo, and so on deserve to be trapped for the rest of their lives for the actions of monsters like Asgore? Did they deserve to have their freedom taken away from them? 

They did it for the white side, of the gray that is monster kind. The others were dead. They didn't want to make their deaths for nothing. They saw the kidness in monsters, and they hoped that the kidness that they saw could overtake the hatred if the barrier broke.

But they also sacrificed themselves with the hopes that they could spare one or more of their friends lives if they fell underground. Hoping that some random humans would fall so the monsters could get the 7 souls needed to break the barrier. Clover sacrificed himself in hopes that another human would fall before Frisk. So Frisk wouldn't die. 

There is also the part of Tom helping QC. Tom saw QC as a sibling that wanted nothing more than to help herself and her sister have a normal life. Help the only family she had left. Just like Tom always trying to make the orphanage the best that he could for the others, but especially Hope. His only family that he had left. Tom saw himself in QC. 

Both Clover and Tom were stock in a gray situation. They could save the souls and leave, but leave their monster friends to rot without any hope of freedom. Live underground and risk making their monster friends traidors. Or sacrifice themselves to help their new friends have a chance to see the outside and hope that the other kids aren't the next humans to fall. 

There is no option that every side wins. So they pick the option that they found better.

They weren't rooting against humanity. They were bringing hope to the good in monster kind. And having the hope to spare the others.

I don't know if this made any sense. But I hope you guys could understand my mad ramblings.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

I just can't wrap my head around the narrative purpose of Nina. Her characterisation was lacking, she didn't leave any memorable impression I even forgot what she was about other than a leverage for Johan or a refuge in a way.

Her motives were not really mapped out well I feel like the author could've expanded on that more. It overall left a bad taste in my mouth.

What do you think?

About Nina;

I agree with you. I read a lot of Nina metas and i understand what she was supposed to symoblize (Nina; human, Tenma; God, Johan; Devil) but i think Tenma fits the role of human anyway and it doesnt work in Nina's case because she is not some random victim whom Johan killed her parents. She is her brother so her forgiving him at the end (especially when she already forgave other villains) doesnt work out as 'act of love'.

So the reason I think she isnt much memorable to you, thats because she is too similar to Tenma during the series.

They are good people who helps others

They investigate Johan separately but somehow at the same time.

They both project their inner monster on Johan so they think killing him will solve everything

Both use guns

Their interaction with Dieter is same

Everyone loves them

They are the only people Johan cares about and only people he lets them live Though Nina is different, her personality is more expressive and extrovert but this side of Nina is barely seen. Only at the beginning and ending. Tenma's character and ideals makes sense for his character because he is a doctor, also why he is obsessed with Johan but Nina as Johans sister, she couldve been different. More personal, more obsessive.

This is the problem with writing "good people". Her place in story is also mess and kinda replacable....yes, even though she is Johans sister. When i said replacable, i mean a lot of scenes were just there. Even if she wasnt there, nothing would change.

After not being able to meet her, Johan never go after her. He is more obsessed with Tenma, not Nina.

After escaping from her brother, she didnt need to meet Neonazis. Another character would stop the bomb and Tenma would see Johans writing anyway.

Her training from sugar man is just side character story, couldve been Tenma and same with meeting old cop. It couldve been Tenma who met the guy and nothing would change.

Even if Nina didnt come library, Tenma still wouldnt shot Johan. Her "dont shot him" scene with Nina has no build up and cringe. Johan didnt even interact with her at all in that scene and Nina also doesnt attempt to talk with her brother. She literally acts like random cop who suddenly appeared in the scene.

Other characters learnt "nameless monster" book, or 511 or the mansion etc on their own.

Nina remembering her flashbacks, or learning other book stories etc was important information only she knew but she never shared those informations with other characters. Its almost as its just written for audience to learn, to understand Johan.

Her interaction with Johan at broken house, that was meaningfull. That was only them after all but that scene didnt change anything for Johans plans. Johan was already remembering his memories and planning his suicide anyway. Only usefull information is that Nina found out Johan will kill himself but neither Nina and Tenma cared that information enough to do something different. Then at the end everyone find a way to find Franz's town.

At the end, another usefull and important flashback we get with Nina. Only Dr Gilleun heard this but its not like he did anything about it. Then Nina ran to Johan and told him she forgave him. Of course. Of course, it is important but its not impactfull (for audience) if Nina can forgave other characters. And once again, this doesnt stop Johan.

And no, Tenma wouldnt shot Johan even Nina didnt come. Even Nina didnt tell him to save Johan later, he would still save Johan. Literally any other character could say that.

And at the end, Nina lives her life again just a normal girl. Tenma is the one who is with Johan and his words 'You had a name' is what saves Johan at the end.

I am not saying she isnt important character. She is but as character, she didnt change things much, even though she shouldve as main heroine. She shouldve played more role that affects things around her, especially her interaction with Johan. But it didnt.

We could maybe say the same thing for Tenma or other characters but not really. There is already a certain role Tenma symbolize, humanity, saving lifes and most other characters are just side characters. But thats the thing. Nina isnt meant to be side character. She was supposed to be main heroine but even characters like Lunge and Eva, even they mess up or dont do much, they are still more memorable because their invidiuality shows itself. They affect the storyline in their own way.

I think we shouldve seen her inviduality more rather than her just going after on her own. I mean, on her own way, different than Tenma. Most importantly, i wish we shouldve seen her love for her brother, her family (Fortners) but her connection with them, our connection with people shows us who we are. Maybe she shouldve traveled with Tenma, then their connection would makes sense. And definitely we shouldve seen more about the her connection with Johan and her memories as Anna and after remembering, it does affect her so she shouldve done something to affect things around her as Nina, as heroine but none of these happenned.

So i understand why she can be forgotten because we dont see much of her really. And thats a shame. I wish she has done more, and more on her own way, more different than Tenma, more personal because its her brother but she acts like they are strangers so well. I think she isnt well written.

[angy-grrr]

thoughts:

Himiko Toga never chose a villain name because she has always been the monster and demon for others, internalizing it. But also because she isnt trying to be someone else, but proudly show herself and her love -AFO exploited this to reaffirm the previous, so she never even realized she could give her blood for others.

Ochako Uraraka's goal and arc isn't finished until we see a few main points: "who will save heroes?" A discussion about heroism and saving, and I wouldnt be too surprised if saving villains also come up here as a developed version of the first. They are all people, and that's what matters over their assigned roles. "Himiko Toga". Where is she? Ochako's arc can't be finished until we see or hear what ended up happening. "What does she feel about it all?" She needs a resolution and express her feelings, and with the hiding she has done recently I cant help but wonder even more about Himiko's state, as she is the person who makes Ochako feel safe enough to talk about her thoughts. And lastly"You like him, dont you?" What will happen with her love for Izuku? Is she going to hide it, confess, talk about it more with Himiko? I still think about "the reveal" during her fight with her, and her hair covering her whole face... It could be because she "needs" to tell and show her whole face to Izuku*. I would prefer it another way tho

*She said she admires Himiko for being able to say her feelings and love who she does with her whole face, if I remember correctly, while remembering an Izuku who is looking somewhere (someone?) else smiling. I believe its important that she doesnt have her face shown there, but we still dont have a clear reason why. Is she just not able to show that love to Himiko because she hasn't shown Izuku first? Is it because she no longer feels it? In the next panel she says shes now going to stop her, we can see her face, and her mouth is covered in blood. Is it because their battle was never about him? Because she is ashamed of those feelings? Because she doesn't want to engage in them?

With chapter 425 taking us by surprise because of her first interaction with Midoriya after the war, I prefer to think she has her hair covering her face because she still can't be honestly herself with him. Partially? Yes completely, but she can't tell him her feelings like with Himiko.

I hope she expresses her feelings to the class, to her parents, her friends, the civilians... but I really don't think a confession to him and him only would solve anything.

She doesn't want or can't chase him and his feelings like with Himiko; Izuku is acting weird, upset about many things, and she doesn't see that, im sure she would have tried to help if she actually knew. Even tho she looks around to find a crying Himiko, she doesn't try to do the same now, and in fact rejects it; she decided her feelings are not for him or others to see, at least at the moment.

So how does Hori plan to change this in such little time? Is Izuku going to chase after her, when thats what he has always done with everything he wants? Doesn't he deserve to be chased back? Doesnt she deserve the right to decide how much of herself she wants to reveal to him? Or mourn the loss in her own terms, in case Toga's dead or she thinks she is?

With her feelings for both Midoriya and Toga she has tried to put heroism first, focus only on that; with the first one because she fails at her goals and just blindly imitates him without finding herself, and the second one because she shouldn't feel that way and questions herself over those quite frequently.

I have no idea if Horikoshi plans to make her put her feelings first for him over heroism like she did with her -risking it and acting against what a hero "should" do so they can both just be Himiko Toga and Ochako Uraraka.

I have no idea, but it would make me so sad if he did.

EDIT:

In chapter 424 we see Shoto first in the hospital, when the narration explains things cant be as simple as Deku thought as a kid. Then Ochako appears, with her arm over her stomach probably thinking about her fight. It can't end so easily, and I wouldnt be surprised if chapter 427 or 428 was about them.

Fun thought: what if Himiko is the one about to see Spinner? jkjkjk. It could be cute tho.

[the-kr8tor]

…What if in BDAS ned and finn werent the ones to die but it was R?

Right as hobie was opening up to you, falling in love again. Losing the hate he had from the fire burning within him. What if the monster in the see got you instead. And all hobie could do was watch. He tried saving you but was held back. The crew couldnt lose tjeir captain just as they lost the medic.

Even if they didnt have their medic for a long while, but everyone was starting to enjoy Rs presents, especially hobie. Getting used to his scuttlebuts voice, footsteps.

After everything happened no one could be able to stop the fire that burnt with hobie, it engulfed him. Ultimately the crew couldnt stopnit, they tried. Hut he still blames the death of you and MJ on mathias. If mathias never came and took up the time. The crew couldve all been safer, you, wouldve been safer.

Fire kept hobie awake, every second and moment he spent. Planning his revenge, how bright the embers were. He was burning like how the library was engulfed. Every moment he stayed in the library, he thought ofnyou. Though the library is now just ash, different to the form it was when you were there. The fire consumes hobies being. And at night he can still hear the echo of your laughter, of your voice. Your being haungs him when your no longer there, can still hear your teasing voice. The playfulness that he tried ignoring, even if he loved it oh so much.

Just as he was learning to love again, he lost you even quicker. He questions what he felt with and towards you, it never fully got to blossom. And he doesnt want to accept he was in love with you. But oh god did the flames of loving and losing someone burn brighter ever then before.

All flames lose their brightness still, hobie became complusive, and obsessive. Addicted to the feeling of getting revenge, the others knew he was leading himself to death. He knew it himself, but he wouldnt give in. Sometimes he can still hear your screams when the ship gently sways with the sea at night, especially in his dreams. You just couldnt seem to leave him. And in his dreams, your shown as being alive, happy, and yet. You warn him, in his dreams you warn him. Trying to push him away from revenge, but he doesnt listen to you either.

Why could you, how could you? How could your death affect him worse then MJs death affected him. It remains a mystery to him, the crew understands why. But he doesnt, the crew tries getting karls help, Karls tried talking hobie out of it but he wont. It goes into hobies ear and out the other, hobies mind is set.

And soon the flames end, no longer does the fire of revenge consume him. Because hobie got what he wanted, he killed mathias. But as the blood pools around mathias, it also drenches hobie. Hobies own blood, hobie accepts his fate. Maybe in another life he wont be cursed to watch the one he loves dies, even if he never accepted the fact he lived r. Well that is until now.

But at least in this one, he gets to die as well, the bittersweet words of him saying, ‘i love you, scuttlebut.’ Slips off his tongue, as he himself falls on the floor, and slips into darkness.

Hobie already accepted the cruel fate he had, its why he didnt want his crew following him, why he pushed them away. But in the captains cabin, they each find the notes left for them. Addressing each of his crew, his allies, and what he lost. They find an extra letter, one addressed to R, he knew r wouldnt be able to read it. He needed to write it before he died though, how he felt. And when the crew dinds hobie, theres no pulse on him or mathias. Their very own captain, their friend, gone. When they all didnt even have enough time to process Rs death, now they are supposed to process hobies?

The crew ends up setting fire to Rs letter, maybe the fire, the same one that felt like it engulfed hobie, maybe it could let the universe bring it to R. Like how the universe would always bring Hobie and R together, always in love. But sonetimes, never fully able to accept those feelings. Or never able to be able to live to have those feelings.

This is like the longest thing ive ever sent to you and im sorry katy. I just got the plot point of like hey what if r died instead of finn and ned. R hads finns fate obviously😍

Also i didnt proof read this so i could have a LOT of spelling mistakes in here and im sorry. Also yes i did hint at stuff in the katyverse.

I love you katy, i love you everyone whose reading this (please dont hate me)

You had me sold at the first sentence!!! This is prime angst right here

I'm also a 'the fire inside hobie will consume him if r wasn't there' truther

Poor hobie :( he was just getting used to r and as fast as he fell r was gone just as quick like the tides

Hehehhehe i love a good revenge story (Aber jw enjoyer)

Reading the letters: opin reference 🫵

"I love you scuttlebutt" just stab me already

I love how mathias is dead in all the aus HAHHAHAHHAHA absolutely deserved tho

Ngl I considered a similar ending way way before I finished outlining it bc I thought ppl wouldn't even like the pirate au so I might as well cut it in half but lo and behold you guys loved it!! Your love fuelled in making bdas into a story i wanted to tell ❤️ ly too!

[alicentsgf]

I want to like Rhaenicent but I feel like Alicent protects Rhaenyra and cares for her way more than Rhaenyra does for her. Adult Rhaenicent seems rather one sided to me ngl. One way Rhaenyra betrayed Alicent was by marrying Daemon, a man who absolutely despises the Hightowers and who wouldn’t hesitate to slaughter Alicent’s children. Does Rhaenyra really not realize how ruthless Daemon is? Daemon is arguably the biggest threat to the Green kids who are Rhaenyra’s own siblings. It just kills me that Alicent stood up to her abuser for Rhaenyra’s life in 1x09 and Rhaenyra has never done anything of that severity for Alicent. And Rhaenyra will likely never know how much Alicent fought to save her. Idk, I just feel like Alicent deserves someone who will love her completely. I can’t see Rhaenyra being that person with the way she’s disregarded Alicent’s worries and feelings.

I'm going to be totally honest and I say this with love... a lot of it becomes easily justifiable for me when i acknowledge that Rhaenyra is just a bit dense. like shes always been sheltered and naive, to the point of genuine stupidity sometimes. she isnt inherently so but her father stomped all over her developing any kind of critical mind early on and she did nothing to overcome that mistake. she became far too comfortable with Viserys waving his crown and magic-ing her problems away and its just a fact shes never managed to see things from alicents perspective... but that doesnt mean alicent isnt as equally important to her as she is to alicent. please bear with me because i promise i will explain this fully.

but first of all, to answer your question 'does rhaenyra not realise how ruthless daemon is?' I mean, giving her the benefit of the doubt ...maybe not? shes pretty much always always seen the best side of daemon. with viserys. with her. with their children. what does she know of daemons genuine ruthlessness? we cant say for sure. once again, giving her the full benefit of the doubt, we dont even know if rhaenyras aware that daemon murdered rhea. like daemons not exactly gonna bring it up and who else would dare suggest that to her of all people? sure shes seen him fight at tourneys she knows hes capable of killing but thats a controlled enviroment where its expected. and she clearly feels safe enough with him personally otherwise she wouldnt have laughed in his face after her grabbed her neck.

its going to be very interesting to see what they do with B&C for this reason. because if rhaenyra isnt involved, at least in the Details... will she be shocked by what daemon is capable of? depends on what version of rhaenyra we get post-luke i suppose. but i dont know if i believe they're likely to have her go That dark so quickly that she'd agree to B&C. (sorry. tangent.)

imo you have to try and see her perspective - rhaenyra is deeply Confused. she thought for many years alicent just suddenly Hated her on the basis of her /loose morals/, like purely hated her, the girl she loved is Gone overnight right when they'd begun to reconcile, and she couldnt really understand why. she just does not understand alicents perspective and she cant begin to fathom alicents situation. and in a way, how could she? shes never faced similar limitations theres an argument to be made she wouldnt be able to even conceptualise it without alicent taking her by the hand and walking her through it. even when they were friends i doubt rhaenyra thought about the privileges she held over alicent (after all, she was a child, it was just what she knew and as far as she could see alicent got to do everything she did so there was no visual imbalance). from rhaenyras point of view, all those years alicent was being unnecessarily antagonistic over something that didnt effect her. this girl she loved and in rhaenyras eyes she is betraying her again and again and again. and rhaenyra thought all that because she couldnt see the bigger picture. how could she begin to understand 'alicent fears what my reign could mean for her children' when viserys actively disencouraged her political interest - her opinion on that point would likely only be 'well obviously i would make sure nothing happened to them', not understanding that That isnt the reassurance she thinks it is.

so yeah. rhaenyra truly doesnt understand what went on or whats going on. but alicent Does (and this imbalance is perfectly demonstrated by the dialogue in the knife scene because, lets be honest, alicent pins down the situation and how rhaenyra fits into it kind of perfectly... whereas rhaenyra incorrectly attributes alicents rage to 'righteousness', not fear.). and personally i think thats why it seems unbalanced or one sided, especially in episode 8. alicent could afford to be genuine, rhaenyra isnt hard to read, whereas rhaenyra still had her guard up because she was just so fucking confused lmao. she briefly saw the gentle, beautiful, kind girl she was in love with in alicents treatment of a dying viserys at the dinner table - and upon realising alicent actually Does still have that side to her rhaenyra doesnt know what to do except subtlety apologise for perhaps not truly Seeing alicent and for accusing her of trying to harm viserys. she thought the alicent she knew was long dead until that moment - the girl has got emotional whiplash. so its not that rhaenyra loves alicent less. her reactions in episode 10 make it very clear there is still A Lot going on there for her (and we know emma d'arcy's pov on it was that rhaenyra genuinely considers conceding the throne with the hope of alicent 'taking her back'). shes just very very Very muddled about whether the current version of alicent is Still the person she loves...

and i think maybe 'love' is the wrong word for what they have when theres so much piled on top but its definitely a devotion. its this constant need to reconcile and be close that they just cant shake because a part of them will always desire the other.

tl;dr rhaenyra is just... kinda dumb god bless. and their imbalance is in their ability to understand the situation, not in the amount of love thats held.

(besides they were never exactly going to be a healthy equal deserving love thats not the point of them imo. they are a missed opportunity. a greek tragedy. starcrossed lovers. etc)

[one-annon]

Adam stanheight x fem reader pls? Anything works.

Ty!!! ♡

-- ADAM FAULKNER/FEM!READER --

finally...finally finished this...i apologize so so much for the wait

i tried making it f!reader but it feels more gn!reader than anything...hope thats okay!

tw! ptsd/panic attack/nightmare sorta stuff

it had been about a month since your boyfriend was saved from that bathroom. according to him, the guy he was with came back. you knew he was lying. he had that same look in his eyes he gave you when he said he ate all his food he needed to for that day - or when he says he did, in fact, zip up his fly before you two left the house. it was a look that said 'im knowingly lying to you and i feel guilty about it'.

what he wasn't lying about, though, was his night terrors after. not only that but also his newfound fear of being alone and the dark. before, he wouldnt mind laying alone in bed in his dark room, cigarette in hand. but after he couldnt even handle the dimming lights of movie theaters, which restricted your movie date nights to being a home event. it frustrated you a few times, but you understood. it was a traumatic event you could never understand because you didnt experience it.

you didnt know how adam felt when he woke up gasping for air after a nightmare. usually, he would call you, ask you to stay on the phone with him for just for a little while. just until he calms down. he always sounded so broken, so utterly pathetic that it was hard to not take pity on him.

today though, was a little different. after major convincing, adam agreed to stay over at your house. you two had a great night - tasty dinner, a movie night (which included adam laughing as you screamed at horror movies), and even a bath together. adam always tried his best to be romantic. he may not have money, but he has a heart. that you know. right before bed, he had done your hair, carefully brushing the knots and tangles out and commenting about how gorgeous you were.

"im so lucky," he had said, running his fingers through a small section he had just brushed. "youre such a pretty lady - model material even! and i somehow scored you? i really dont know how that happened.."

you both went to bed happy, cuddled and warm in each others embrace. he was curled up, face hidden away from the world in your chest - his favorite place. you didnt mind, humming a soft tune as he wrapped his lanky arms around you. he squeezed you tight, holding his breath just long enough to where he could hear your heartbeat. quiet enough so he can hear that youre with him. that youre alive. he's not in that awful bathroom anymore - hes here with you in your bed.

the two of you fell asleep peacefully, the big blanket draped over you two helping with the cold of the room but the fan running above you kept you from overheating. everything was going so well. he was comfortable, you were comfortable. everything had gone just as it planned to be. you had your beautiful boy asleep, you were asleep. truly, it was one of the best days of your week.

you didnt dream that night. which, to be honest, you never really were one to dream. you knew adam was though. sometimes, when he had good dreams, he would tell you about them while you made breakfast (because lord forbid he step into the kitchen). sometimes he wouldnt be able to recall them and sometimes he would tell you about how, oh, his friend had taken him to a bar and there was such a pretty lady there that looked just like you and then he realized, oh it is you. and he was so happy to see you because, oh, him and scott were so wasted and, oh..is breakfast already done?

then there was the times he had bas dreams. like tonight. again. you woke up to him shaking so hard you, just for a moment, thought he was seizing or something. taking a good look at him, you realized that wasnt the case. his eyebrows ere tightly knitted together, lips parted as he muttered to himself about wanting to live, soft gasps slotting themselves between his quiet begs. your shirt that he was still gripping was wet with his tears.

glancing over at the clock, you squinted as you tried to read what it registered the time to be. 2:36 am. okay. cool. whatever. you sigh, rubbing your hand up and down adams back to try and wake him up or lull him out of whatever bad dream had a hold on him tonight and back to restful sleep. you swore to yourself, pinching at the bridge of your nose to try and keep yourself awake.

by this point, you were going to call adams brother specs to see if he has some fuckass demon holding him down. you knew that wasnt it. well, there were no physical demons.

you knew who his demons were. he could perfectly describe them to you and one of them you knew personally. blonde, tall, divorced. you had seen him around the hospital you had grown to know thanks to adam. the boy seemed to panic at the very mention of the oncologist, rambling and sobbing while he told you how the man was supposed to come back and save him.

you knew he didn't. adam had told you the gruesome details about how he had to eat someones body - cannibalize someone - just to survive. you tried to take him to a therapy group you had read about full of other jigsaw survivors but he couldnt go. not when he saw that blonde man limp his way into the room. not when he saw how calm he was as he sat down. you remember waiting in the car, hoping everything went alright. but when adam slammed the door closed and begged you to drive off before the session was even done, you knew it was useless.

so now here you were, trying to comfort his sleeping form. at some point, the dream had shifted. he was moving around in his sleep, either grabbing at you or at his foot. his broken foot. adam had totally shattered his foot to escape the bathroom. apparently, he didnt have the guts or the materials to cut his leg like that demon of his did, but he had the toilet lid next to him. if it was heavy enough to kill the man he cannibalized, he said, it was heavy enough to free him.

adam kept his grip on you. he kept muttering to himself. he kept crying. he looked so pathetic. he was such a mess. you just wanted to go back to sleep.

frustrated and tired, you shook him awake. "adam.." you whispered, fighting how heavy your eyelids were. "adam, wake up.." your voice seemed to coax him out of his sleep, a sharp gasp escaping him. he shot up, cold sweat running down his neck as his lungs worked overtime to get air into his body. you were quick to hold him. "cmon..its okay.." you mutter, too tired to fully process that he was trying to dig his way under your skin with his blunt nails.

adam heaved, trying to focus on your voice. he choked out words you couldnt process. knowing him, he was probably apologizing again. you carefully wrapped your arms around adam. enough pressure for him to feel your presence and hopefully bring him back to you, but not enough pressure to suffocate him.

"youre safe, baby.." your voice was right next to his ear. slowly, he relaxed. the boy came back to reality, letting himself go limp in your embrace. he rested his head on your shoulder, turning in a way where his nose was buried in your neck. adam held onto your upper arms, making sure you were still there with him.

you could feel how he stopped breathing. he had to make sure you were still breathing yourself. he had to make sure your heart was still beating. he had to make sure you were alive. adam's hands trailed down your arms until they slipped off, kneading at the bedsheets. he was home. he was safe. those bruised hands patted around, made sure that the lid wasnt around. that the body he had to tear his teeth into wasnt still rotting near him.

eventually, he calmed down. adam refused to separate himself from you. you refused to let him go. a yawn escaped past your lips and you knew it was time to go back to bed. turning your head, you looked at the clock again. 3:27 am. fuck, had it really been that long? time felt like it was going by so quickly. maybe it was because you were tired. you had no sense of time at the moment.

really, that didnt matter. you were here with adam. adam was here with you. his cold hand reached up and played with your hair, reminding himself you were here. you moved him so he was lying back down, his eyes watching you closely as you joined him on the mattress. he continued to stare at you, big sad eyes locking with yours. you smile at him. he smiles back the best he can. it was sad. a sad smile. you hated seeing that one.

"better?" you ask, voice just barely there and heavily laced with drowsiness.

adam nods, his hand resting on top of yours. "yeah..better..im sorry."

you shake your head just slightly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "none of that. not now." you squeeze his hand gently, letting him shift ever so closer to you. adam hides right under your chin, nose stuffed in the dip of your collarbone. he was safe. he was loved. he was saved. you were his angel. you helped ward off the demons. you helped get the bad thoughts out of his head. you helped him.

as much as it frustrated you, you were adam's savior. and you were okay with it. as long as it meant you got your precious boy the other times his nightmares didnt have him. his fingers, which were still carding through your hair, froze. his breathing slowed and his body seemed to melt into the bed. finally, finally, you were able to relax. you held the other close, making sure he was asleep before heading back to bed yourself. you two could chat about whatever nightmare he had while he made breakfast. ><><><><><>< haha its 2 30 am

[acetheta]

Would love to hear ur words and thoughts on thasmin and doctorriver parallels plsplspls my (theta) sigma

omg ofc my sigma spencer theheh… pos…

so i really need to rewatch eleven but! here r the things i can think of rn :3

so imo yowzah is what would have happened if thasmin had more time. river and theta have known each other for ions, plus the fact river is part time lord. aka the scene where eleven finds out river is a “time lord”. you can see the look of excitement on his face here. (i had this gif saved)

it’s this moment of joy and hope on his face. “maybes there’s a chance for me to be happy”. he knows it still ends it flames, but maybe he can be happy for longer this time.

they knew each other for so long, it still wasn’t enough.

he knew there was a better chance. so in my mind thirteen could let herself be loved by Yaz if she knew they had time.

also: in my mind yowzah isn’t a cishet relationship, but they appear that way right? also imo eleven is just so oblivious to social cues he wouldnt care who he dates 😭….

but then in my mind thirteen is 100% a lesbian. again, i think yowzah is what thasmin could have become if there weren’t these outware obstacles. in this instance, how thirteen may feel about loving a woman. aka: comphet. that wasn’t a problem for eleven and river, so! (adding onto this; even the way thirteen talked about river: “i was a different man back then” imo kinda alludes to “well yeah i was able to love her as a man, but i cannot love her because i am a woman.”

also! river “knew” eleven from day one right? he regenerates: he already knew river. this is similar to thasmin as yaz and thirteen knew each other from day one as well.

i also think yknow river is a certain way, right? she’s very out there. she matches eleven’s anger, etc etc. yaz isn’t like that. we see a few moments where she gets fed up with thirteen, but never to the point river did with eleven. river didn’t take any bs from anyone, especially not theta. so i think maybe if yaz had been more direct, things would have gone differently. yaz was more direct during lotsd, but most of it is internalized. and yeah i think that is her comphet and im not blaming her, just a thought.

kind of said this before, but i think if thirteen knew she was allowed to love yaz, she would have. this has multiple meanings but this time i mean like. eleven doesnt want to love river at first, right? but he knows he is allowed to. because she knows his future, and that’s what they become.

thirteen didnt know yaz in the way eleven knew river. i think this speaks a lot.

like i said: i need to rewatch eleven but these r my main points for now!!! tyyyy ily <33

[seaweedbraens]

11!!! vani you’re so close, only 80k words to go

what led you to choosing jason’s story? you obviously planned for him to die from the beginning but what was the process of figuring out how to make it happen and justifying it?

dont even joke abt 80k ill do it sgdjdkejehekken

re: jason - i knew i wanted to kill him because he dies in canon, and i actually dont hate that he dies in canon, i just hate that it was done in a series that wasnt his own. i actually quite like the whole idea of jason choosing to sacrifice himself over piper with her not even knowing shit about it - the books made it even more heartbreaking because theyre broken up, but i didnt want to do that, so i made him just hide it vehemently instead.

another reason he had to die was because in my fic, he is older than percy by about a month, and i really wanted to drive it home that all the children of the big three who were older than percy and died (jason, thalia, bianca) did so because they were IN THE WAY. theres no nice way to put it. percy was the child/hero of the prophecy, and them being alive just fucked shit up timeline-wise and confused everything. jason figures this out pretty quick, though. it's a slim comfort to him, knowing that even though he wont be around, percy will survive. that's why he entrusts him, out of everyone, to take care of piper.

my process in stretching this out just came from outlining this fic to hell and back. it made sense to have his nemesis be krios, since jason does kill him in canon. i knew he wouldnt make it to the final battle, and logically his death would serve has a good place to leave off ch4. that meant he had to leave by the end of ch3 and find out about his fate by ch1/2 (i chose 1). this would give him more than enough time to come up with a plan and come to terms with his fate.

i wanted to make jason's arc about the slow acceptance of death. i had an aunt who battled cancer for a long, long time, and i watched her cycle slowly through each worsening stage with a grim acceptance. in her last years, though, she told me she was choosing to live life and she was using her time to appreciate what she had. i visited her days before she passed and while she put on a brave face in front of me, she confessed to my mom that she was scared, and i wondered for a long time how long she spent hiding her pain from others just to save us from sharing hers.

jason's journey is largely inspired by my aunt. he knows death is looming over him, but he chooses to hide his own anxiety in favor of allowing his friends to be happy. the only time he shows his fear is as he dies in piper's arms, when he has nothing to lose by hiding it anymore.

piper was his greatest source of joy and he knows she has the capability to love again, but if she died, he knows he would never be able to. and yes! it's a selfish choice, as piper tells him, but one he believed was necessary.

through the course of wcwsthwas, jason learns he's lived a good life. he found his family and found love and true friendship. he wouldnt give them up for the world - so he chose to give himself up instead.

IDK IF I ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION I JUST RAMBLED AYSGSICYSIVYAGIV SORRY BUT TY FOR ANOTHER GOOD ONE!!!

[kat651]

diary (Sherlock x reader)

He knew it was wrong. He truly did, but curiosity had gotten the best of him, and it was just sitting there. Sherlock had found himself liking you more than he should for someone that worked for him, but he wanted to know what interested you. Sherlock scanned the contents of your diary with interest.

You liked chocolate, certain flowers, he found your favorite color, what books you liked, your hobbies. He paused at the last entry. 

I know it's wrong, especially considering the fact that he hates sentiment, but I can't help but make a special place in my heart for him. He may be hard to read but thats what makes him so special, if Sherlock Holmes was just a regular person with regular hobbies and interests i probably wouldn't have even noticed him, save for those eyes, but because he's so different and so unique i can't help but want what i can't have. Maybe I need to move out, being flatmates with him and John makes it even harder for me to think straight. 

I know for a fact that John knows exactly how I feel. If Sherlock was anyone else besides my boss, I'd tell him the truth. But I can't lose this job because my heart wants something it can't have. Our friendship may be nothing more than work related but I cherish it. A lot.  

Update: I found an apartment for sale a few blocks away. If I save up, I should be able to pay the rent by the end of the month. How on earth am I supposed to tell them I'm moving out? John will understand but he won't be happy about it. But sherlock? How will he react? 

Sherlock closed the diary and ran to your room,tossing it on your bed, his heart was racing. You were leaving? You loved him? He stood and began to pace, mind going a mile a minute. He felt a pit in his stomach and realized he felt the same way you did. 

Sherlock threw on his coat and ran to the store, picking up some chocolate and a few other things he now knew you liked. He knew that John knew you liked him so John would immediately pick up on Sherlock's feelings. He brushed it off and bought everything anyway. 

You walked into the flat and slipped your shoes off before going into the living room. “Hey john… where's sherlock?”

“He left about a half hour ago, probably something about the case…” 

You nodded and sat down. “Well since hes gone now is probably the best time to tell you. Im leaving.”

“What?”

“I can't do this anymore… it's too hard seeing him every time i step through the door. I'm not quitting i'm just moving down the street… maybe ill come back if i can get everything inside under control but for now i need to leave…”

You hadn’t heard sherlock come back. “Your leaving?”

You turned around to see sherlock standing in the entrance to the livingroom with a bag in his hand. 

“I… yeah, at the end of next week, im just heading down the street. I need time to myself… i might come back after a few months i just i cant…” you hung your head. 

“Ill leave you two to talk,” john said, heading to his room.

Sherlock slowly walked to you until he was standing directly infront of you. “Is there anything i can say or do to change your mind?”

‘There is one thing,’ you thought. ‘If you loved me. It wouldnt hurt if you did…’ you sighed. “I dont think so…”

Shurlock gently grabbed your hands. “Is it me?” he asked, pretending not to know. 

John was standing with his ear against his door, listening.

“No. i mean yes, i mean… its complicated…”

“Please tell me, if ive done something to cause you to feel that you have to leave just tell me, i- please stay…” sherlock pleaded, squeezing your hands and looking at you with puppy eyes. 

“Sherlock i cant-”

He grabbed your face in his hands, looking into your eyes with his now sad ones. “Please stay…”

“No ive made up my mind, im going…”

“No…”

“Oh come on Sherlock its not like im- what are you so afraid of?!”

“You want to know what i'm afraid of?!” he asked, tears welling in his eyes. 

“Yes i do!” you shouted. 

“Everything!” he screamed.

You looked at him confused.

“Everything that involves you scares me! Im afraid to move to think im…” he reached out to touch your face but recoiled. “Im scared to touch you! I-im afraid you step out that door, every time i let you help me with a case! I let you in, i let myself love you and now your leaving! I cant loose you! I-i wont survive…” at some point he had fallen to his knees and now he was crying at your feet. “Please stay…”

You knelt in front of him. “You love me?”

Sherlock nodded, looking up at you. “More than anything…”

You chuckled and threw your arms around him, placing your lips on his. “I love you too…”

Sherlock kissed you repeatedly “y/n… please… don't go…”

You hugged him tighter. “I'm not going anywhere, i'm staying right here… with you.”

[bridgyrose]

Any chance of a part 3 to Semblance Mishaps?

(Answering both of these together)

Ruby couldnt help but stare at herself in the mirror as she ran shaky fingers through her now blonde hair. Her eyes seemed to swirl with silver and blue, her face looked more like Jaune’s than hers, even her combat gear was a mix of hers and Jaune’s. A breastplate that almost seemed merged with her corset, a skirt with pants underneath, the normal red and black she was used to almost seemed like an afterthought with how vibrant the white and gold looked.  She had promised Jaune that this would be safe, that he wouldnt have to worry about losing any of his teammates, and now the ghost of his face stared back at her in the mesh that was them. Another reminder of another failure. 

Her heart felt like it had tightened and her breath hitched as she thought about her failure to keep Penny safe. She had told herself for weeks that she had moved on from it, that it had been Penny’s choice to come back. And yet, the familiar guilt came back. Memories from the bridge came rushing back to her, many of them not her own. A tear ran down her cheek as she pressed a hand to the mirror, fingers shaking as the memory of Penny’s last breath ran through her mind. 

“Ruby?” Weiss asked through the apartment door. “Are you still in there?” 

“I am,” Ruby answered, her voice sounded foreign to her with the way it merged with Jaune’s. She took a deep breath to steady her voice and wiped away the tears that ran down her cheeks. “C-come in.” 

Weiss slowly walked in, her own voice soft as she spoke. “Nora told me what happened with you and Jaune. Its not your fault-” 

“It is my fault!” Ruby snapped at her. “I knew what would happen if I used my semblance with him! I promised him that I would be able to fix anything that I did! But I’m stuck like this!” 

“Only for now.” Weiss took a seat and offered a smile to Ruby. “You’ll fix this. I know it.” 

Ruby sat down, eyes unable to look at Weiss’s, ashamed of what she’d done. “I… I cant.” 

“You can-” 

“If I had been able to fix this, I’d be able to fix Blake and May!” 

Weiss let out a soft sigh and leaned over to put a hand on Ruby’s shoulder. “Ruby, I’ve seen you fight monsters that others wouldnt dare to take on their own, you did everything you could to save Mantle and Atlas when it could’ve been just as easy to follow Ironwood and do as he asked. I know you can do this because I’ve seen what you can do when you put your mind to it.” 

“What if I cant?” Ruby asked, finally looking up at Weiss. “What happens when everyone is stuck or if I fail just like I did with Penny?” 

“Because I know that you’ll stop at nothing to find a solution. Just like you did at Haven. At Argus… at Atlas. We’ll follow you no matter how long it takes.” 

“And what happens when I cant fix it? When everyone is stuck that way?” 

“You will be able to fix this.” Weiss grinned and stood up. “In fact, I’d be willing to stake my own self on that.” 

“Wait Weiss-” 

Weiss ran to the door, her voice starting to trail off as she made plans. “I’ll get Emerald to agree to it and we’ll prove to you that we’ll be fine! You just need to see that everything will be okay!” 

Ruby could only stare at the door as Weiss left, her body frozen at the thought of Weiss willingly putting herself at risk of never being herself again. This mistake with Jaune was supposed to be the last one, there wasnt supposed to be another. Not until she could fix things in the first place. 

“It’ll be okay," Jaune’s voice echoed in her head. “We can trust Weiss.” 

“I do trust her,” Ruby whispered to herself. “Its me I dont.”

[pearcethinks]

genloss episode 3 has me genuinely flabberghasted. /pos

genloss spoilers below

Find the founder, Kill the founder

you remember that, right? from the early videos on the youtube? well, hetch, the guy who claimed to try and 'help' ranboo? hetch mentioned about how the founder runs this all. and what im guessing is at the end of episode three, when its shown that it was on a tape recorder. that person that grabbed it? what if thats the founder. or is that the next person that will be taken here? generation 2? for all we know, this could be anyone.

ALSO. notice how squiggles came back in episode three ONLY at the end. when there was real content. when the show was able to go on. squiggles is part of this. we knew that, but still.

CHARLIES STREAM. i watched through it, and i believe someone in chat said that the wingdings said something about the colors, and blah blah you blah, i dont remember and was unable to decode the wingdings myself. What i did do was try and go to the video that charlie played. and i did get to it! as of writing this, posted 12 hours ago. 2-3pm eastern time! incase its important

that ending. where ranboo died. did he even die? i doubt it. either he didnt die or they died but are going to be brought back for generation 2. the show must go on. we have seen people die and come back. charlie. he died but came back next episode.

notice how the one time ranboo DOESNT listen to chat, everything goes wrong. like- literally EVERYTHING. but what if they did listen to chat? would it keep going as them being controlled?

the mask turned on and off at the end, but also that could be because of the mask malfunctioning. but also, he asked to die. he wouldnt do that, showfall media wanted him dead. while the mask was partially broken, it literally had a hole in it and you could see their mouth partially, ranboo was not acting himself still. ranboo was being controlled the entire time. hetch was part of showfall media. maybe the founders right hand man. great at manipulation. even if ranboo could make his own choices, hetch convinced him to keep the mask on. to stay in there. to 'save everyone' although it saved noone.